The windows and doors will be boarded up and the plants allowed to creep over the building. Moss will grow over the platform and, for a while, youths will come and spray paint and smash what they can - I like to think that this is their way of mourning its loss.

I let the night come in and swirl around and bring me lightness and positivity. I let the night suck out the failure and my embarrassment and shame over the same.

Another daily rhythm, that works well in hot weather, is to take two meals a day: bigger meal in the late morning, before temperature gets to warm, and a more modest one as the day cools down, before the sunsets...... In American latitudes, summer sunset may be as late as 9pm, so take second meal around 5 or 6 if you plan to get to bed early.

How people changing in just the smallest measure could turn out to be a lot over time. I was looking forward to seeing who I'd be.

Both of us let the lie hang in the air.

This moment felt significant so I lay there and tried to breathe it in, to suck it down and store it. It felt important. I felt swelled with it.

Sorry for the inconvenience. We are trying to change the world

As I learn more about the past, I feel disbelief about our present. How can we let the lessons of the past go unlearned? Are we doomed to make the same mistakes on a loop?

And now, after everything that has happened, I feel ready to use my anger. To use my anger for good.

And we stand there.Singing the cathedral down.